Fast Five

"This isn't a damn skate board, Brian!"

I remember seeing The Fast and The Furious at a party when it came out on DVD, and I thought to myself “If they make this a franchise, there’s a hell of a lot of money to be made”. And, with the exception of 2 Fast 2 Furious, the series has held up to my expectations. Granted, I wasn’t ever expecting anything high caliber, just a fun action film about cool cars, cops, and criminals. That’s what I’ve gotten every time. Except, when I saw the fourth entry in the series, I got something different - a soundly made film with a good story and solid performances. Fast and Furious marked the series moving on up from just action fodder to a legitimate franchise, and Fast Five takes it and runs. Or, drives, rather.

More after the cut--

In Theaters This Weekend

"I come off like a viking, right?"

Coming to theaters tomorrow - Thor, Something Borrowed, and Jumping the Broom. Two romantic comedies and a superhero flick destined to take the box office by storm. Fast Five has been holding onto the top spot since its release, driving April into record breaking box office numbers, and becoming the no1 movie worldwide. Can Thor trump it? By the hammer of Asgard, I'd bet so.

Surely we've all heard of Thor by now, but if you're not familiar with Something Borrowed or Jumping the Broom, we'll take a closer look at all three after the jump. 

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Thor

He's a god-out-of-water

Marvel movies know what they’re doing. Clear action, sharp performances, and intelligent screenplays. Of course, the studio is allowed their mistakes after so many successes (here’s lookin’ at you, Iron Man 2), but more often than not, Marvel nails it. Especially in their set-up for the long awaited Avengers film. We’ve had Iron Man and Black Widow, The Incredible Hulk, we’re getting Captain America, and now we have Thor - the god of thunder. Not just thunder, but lightening and fertility and strength (thanks, Wiki). And if anyone can embody fertility, strength, and inclement weather, it’s Chris Hemsworth. Tall, blond, beefy - he has to be the ideal casting. And in a film racked with political intrigue, light hearted hysteria, and Shakespearean grandeur, Kenneth Branagh has to be the ideal director. 

More after the cut--

The Green Hornet, The Dilemma, and Others on DVD This Week

Shown running from the critics

Yesterday, four major DVD releases found their way onto shelves - The Green Hornet, The Dilemma, A Somewhat Gentle Man, and From Prada to Nada. Now... generally, I try to recommend a viewing for the week, based on the releases. But, this is a total grab bag here. I can recommend The Dilemma, but it won't be something everyone will enjoy (as reviews and box office returns proved); I can recommend A Somewhat Gentle Man, but that's purely based on a general perception of the film - I haven't seen it yet (I'm a terrible critic, I know). I've managed to avoid From Prada to Nada, though it's something I'll have to endure by the end of the year, regardless. And The Green Hornet is... a waste of time. 

So, yeah - there you have it. However, let's look at each release closer, just to see what might be worth your hard earned money, and valuable time. 

More after the cut--

The Dilemma

"Seriously? You bagged Winona Ryder?"

Ironically enough, The Dilemma has a few problems of its own. It’s interesting to see Ron Howard take another stab at comedy after laying Arrested Development to rest, but it doesn’t gel the way it should have. Many comedies make their name by taking a moral question and either grounding it in darkly funny reality or making it so absurd that it becomes impossible to question. In fact, some directors have made a career out of doing just that. Mike Binder, Woody Allen, Judd Apatow, the list continues. Where Ron Howard finds trouble here, to be fair, is the script. It’s penned by Allan Loeb, who spewed out Wall Street:Money Never Sleeps and The Switch (that movie about Jennifer Aniston, a turkey baster, and an awkward conversation waiting to happen). The Dilemma is two movies at once - a dark comedy about a man who finds out his best friend’s wife is cheating on him, and a relationship drama about the same thing. The real dilemma is that it can’t find that comfortable middle ground. Same problem that Wall Street 2 had, same problem The Switch had. Must be a Loeb thing.

More after the cut--

Gnomeo and Juliet

Travelocity's gonna sue somebody

In what might become an anthem for the Gnome Liberation Front, Gnomeo and Juliet (very loosely) retells the story of William Shakespeare's famed tragedy of nearly the same name. But, after all, a movie about doomed garden gnome love by any other name is still as dreadful. Oddly enough, a pastiche of Shakespeare puns and gardening jokes took nine writers to fully realize. That might be the funniest thing about the film - Andy Riley, Kevin Cecil, Mark Burton, Emily Cook, Kathy Greenberg, Steve Hamilton Shaw, Kelly Asbury, Rob Sprackling, and John R. Smith. Between them, be it final touch-ups or penning the original stories and script drafts or tossing in jokes here and there, they pulled off true movie magic - a film that feels like it has no screenplay at all, written by a small committee. 

More after the cut--

In Theaters This Weekend

"Get some"

In theaters this weekend, we have another oddball mix. We're getting to that point of the year where, on the weekends, seemingly something for everyone will be released. For the action lovers, Fast Five comes out; for kids, there's the sequel to Hoodwinked; for older kids, Disney is releasing a film about prom called... Prom; and for the rest of us, there's Dylan Dog: Dead of Night. Which is more worth it? Which will be the safest way to spend your money?

Well, my answer is to see all of them. Even the ones that look terrible. But, that's my advice for anything in general. If you don't know what's bad, how can you really know what's good?

Let's take a closer look at each. 

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Why I Love Film - #7 (nsfw)

Sid and Nancy they ain't

There's a special brand (!) of genius behind Russell Brand and Rose Byrne's creations of rockstars Aldous Snow and Jackie Q. We were introduced to Aldous, a once famously sober rockstar, in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (when he used to have sex with Sarah Marshall) and were introduced to Jackie Q in Get Him to the Greek. The foul hilarity that spews forth from their mouths around each other kind of belie the talents they have as actors, but only on the surface. Once you can get past what they're saying, and you can pay attention to how they're saying it, the characters are two of the smartest things to come to film in the last few years. And definite career makers of performances. 

And something like this could only be captured on the big screen. The performances, and characters, are too big for anywhere else. 

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The Green Hornet

"That's right. I'll be playing a superhero. Don't look so confused."

It takes a certain kind of film to make me question the state of a genre. Certain horror movies make question the audiences that attend them, and certain movies that go on to win Oscars make me question the voters. But, not since 1990's Captain America (a horrid movie starring Matt Salinger as the first Avenger) have I sat down and thought about the state of a genre. I remember seeing that and being thankful that even after such a gigantic misfire we're still allowed Batman movies and Spiderman movies and even another Captain America film (which appears to be infinitely better). The Green Hornet, you should know, is one of those certain films - I've seen it twice now and both times I've thought to myself "is this the state of the superhero film? This is what we've come to?" 

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3 Idiots, Jolene, and Others on DVD This Week

3 Idiots Knuckle Up

This is an odd week for DVD releases... usually, lately, we've had three or four recognizable films that have either won awards, or critical praise, or have been revered in their own way for being terrible so we can lament the fact that they're now available in yet another format. This week, of course to break the trend we're so used to, are three releases I can safely say I've never heard of. But, in all fairness, I'm looking forward to them. Some what. A Bollywood-ish farce called 3 Idiots, a walk across the country with an orphaned girl Jolene, and a walk from one end of the room to the other in Bunny and the Bull. 

Which is more worth your time and money, however? Probably all of them. But, I'm guessing that Bunny and the Bull might be the best bet. 

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In the Name of Jesus

Give him his fucking eggs back!

Every Easter, much like every other holiday, there are certain movies that just complete the proceedings. Scary movies complete Halloween, and there are countless Christmas movies to watch every year, but what about days like today? Well, I've compiled a list of the five best people to play Jesus - from Jim Caviezel to Ted Neeley. Let's do it. 

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The Lincoln Lawyer

"Is anyone else following this ending? I mean..."

Consider it a John Grisham novel on steroids. Matthew McConaughey is adept at playing lawyers with an evident moral compass that they just choose to ignore. I remember the first time I saw A Time to Kill on television, and I was mostly just interested in seeing Sandra Bullock in something that wasn't a frothy romantic comedy. But, I left the film impressed mostly by McConaughey and his bittersweet performance. Fifteen years later, I'm reminded of why I like him as an actor in the first place. It's not easy to get behind him when he comes out with films like Surfer, Dude or Fool's Gold or Failure to Launch, but in films like Contact or Tropic Thunder, or The Lincoln Lawyer, his considerable skill is put to unreasonable use. He is an actor, first and foremost. Especially when he keeps his shirt on. 

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Insidious

Drag me to Hot Topic

There's a sense of familiarity in a movie like Insidious. Horror movies these days are a dime a dozen. But Insidious' familiarity comes from a deeper place; it comes from true classics like Poltergeist or even Paranormal Activity, who's producers helped get this film done. Those films work because the have a handle on their atmosphere (something every good horror film has). If you can't control the tone of your film, how can you hope to control the tone of your audience? The answer to that seems easy - that's why films like The Fog get remade, and films like Boogeyman are conceived every day. Tell some audiences to be afraid, and naturally they will be. An example of making your audience afraid, rather than simply suggesting their fear, is a Japanese film called Ju-on, later re-filmed as The Grudge (to, arguably, the same effect). An even better example, Psycho. 

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Super

God's lonely dork.

Super is twisted. Some films can pull that off in a positive way. Recall a film from '98 called Happiness, directed by the superbly screwed up Todd Solondz. That's a film that somehow manages to find the dark humor in the sexually disturbed characters it portrays. Of course this isn't a Todd Solondz film. It wouldn't be as ugly if it were. No doubt, Super is very funny, in parts. Director James Gunn, who's last film was the deliriously strange Slither, gives us a portrait of a mentally unhinged man who accepts a calling from God to be a superhero. He sees visions of demons and rights small wrongs, until stumbling into a big crime. He wields a pipe wrench and cracks skulls for a living. The line between fantasy superhero and regular hyper-violence is blurred. Not just in his mind, but in the film's as well. We aren't ever really shown a man we can get behind, even if it's just to sympathize. 

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Arthur.

Willy Wonka's party days

There are moments of genuine comedic genius in this updated remix of 1981's Arthur, starring Dudley Moore, Liza Minelli, and John Gielgud. Here, Russell Brand portrays our titular loafer in wildly expensive loafers, while Helen Mirren takes Gielgud's spot as his live-in nanny Hobson. Greta Gerwig, affable and luminous as ever, takes over for Liza Minelli as Arthur's love interest/savior. He drinks more than anyone should, to a debilitating degree, and every time he steps out of his house, it's a party. Drinks are on him, of course. Most remakes today have nothing to offer audiences, and do nothing to improve upon or rethink the original films. Admittedly, this version of the popular Moore film (for which he was Oscar nominated, and Gielgud won) doesn't do much to rethink the original, but... the improvement is there. In the 81 film, Arthur's alcoholism isn't treated with the same touch (it's merely a plot point, it feels) and Brand's performance here has more heart than most things Dudley Moore did. Both are fine films, and this one certainly won't see the Oscars, but that doesn't stop it from being a warm, and abstractly hilarious afternoon at the movies.

More after the cut--

In Theaters This Weekend

Taken moments before Pattinson breaks into "Baby Mine"

Hitting theaters this weekend, three major releases bordering on the cusp between greatness and merely watchable - Water for Elephants, the sort of lonely circus drama that will most likely recall the glory days of Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken; Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family, in which Madea gathers her grandchildren to give them all bad news; African Cats, in which Samuel L. Jackson talks about lions for an hour and a half. But which is going to be worth your money? Or your time? Find out after the break.

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The King's Speech, Gulliver's Travels, and Others on DVD This Week

Fuckin' ass and blap blap

Yes, that's the "f" word above. It's okay, though - the Weinstein brothers will edit this post down after its release. 

If you're confused by the joke above, The Weinstein Company, who produced The King's Speech, had the film edited down from an R rating, taking out the scene where Bertie swears comfortably, and several times, in front of his speech therapist. The film is now available as a PG-13 release and an R release, but only one of them is actually worth money. It's the R one. That scene is a key scene, and there was no reason for it to be cut out. Especially after so few people gave a damn about it in the first place. It isn't the movie that's offensive, not by a long shot, but the MPAA's rating system. 

But, a bitter rant on the MPAA isn't what this post is about. It's about the DVD releases for the week. So I'll stay on topic. The King's Speech, Gulliver's Travels, Rabbit Hole, and Somewhere. I've seen all four. So I can give a fair assessment. Let's get down to it. 

More after the cut--

The Rite

Don't stop believin' 

The Rite is a curious film. We get a film in the exorcism genre once a year, it seems, but we don't usually get films that take consideration of what they're studying. In 2005, The Exorcism of Emily Rose came to theaters, and was much maligned. And in 1973, The Exorcist debuted to stellar box office and reviews. The more serious and accurate the film, the less popular it becomes. Emily Rose, based on the factual exorcism of a young German girl called Annalise Michel, has been called more authentic than The Exorcist. However, that isn't the famous one. The Rite falls in the middle of that - a serious film, that still comes with all the frills. No spinning heads, no constant vomiting, but still loads of flopping around and "film possession". It's a film that ponders several questions, most importantly "what happens when a priest gets a demon?".

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Scre4m

Why the long, blood-spattered face?

There are few things worth an eleven year wait. And I was on the fence about Scream 4, until the trailer came out that is. Ever since, I hopped off the fence and onto the bandwagon. I'll admit that while I'm a huge fan of the series, only the first Scream was worth anything until now. 2 and 3, while loads of silly fun, are redundant and small compared to the original, which was a game changer for the horror scene in 1996. Kevin Williamson's screenplay is mostly to thank for that, as it dissected pretty much everything audiences then knew about modern horror movies. And, again, over the weekend, Williamson took the genre back under the knife, grabbiing the clichés we see every weekend and turning them upside down. Make no mistake - this movie is pure formula; we've seen it already, hundreds of times. What makes it fun is Wes Craven's approach to it. He's still the master of suspense, after all. 

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Rio

O Cresto Redentor

There aren't many reasons to seek out a film like Rio. It's probably the very definition of inconsequential. But I  imagine that the makers, who also gave us the three Ice Age movies, didn't have much consequence in mind. A domesticated blue macaw, aptly named Blu, is kidnapped after taken to Rio De Janeiro to mate with the only other bird of his kind. A weird hypothesis for the film to take, considering that we aren't told what kind of blue macaw these birds are - hyacinth or throated? Is it a Spix blue macaw? And even so, why are there only two of them left? I'm not an ornithologist, but this crossed my mind more than once during the film. Suspending disbelief works most of the time. 

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In Theaters This Weekend

Edvard Munch gets it.

In theaters this weekend, we've an interesting mix. The long awaited, much applauded four-quel to a brilliantly tongue-in-cheek horror series, a cutesy kid's movie about birds, a mauling of a classic novel, and a peek inside the assassination of President Lincoln. For those of you who are wondering, the classic novel being adapted is Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, in three parts by director Paul Johansson. 

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Rango

Ride 'em, Rango

I wasn't prepared for Rango to be as dark as it was. Gore Verbinski has always been a director to dabble into life's bigger questions with a lot of subtle ease, without losing the ostensibly fun side to his films. But, with this being a Nickelodeon production, and being animated, and all that, I was blind-sided by the depth of the screenplay by John Logan, and the heartfelt genuineness of Johnny Depp's performance as a chameleon with an identity crisis. To be fair, the screenplay's base elements are very standard - there is a formula, and you know where the film is headed as soon as it starts. But, to the film's credit, on the flip side, everything that happens in between is remarkably intelligent. 

And the whole thing feels like a painting. Gotta love that. 

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Country Strong, White Material, and Others on DVD This Week

Proving there's no "O" in "country"...

This week on DVD, four releases that no one saw. Country Strong, White Material, Heartless, and Farewell (L'affaire Farewell). A melodrama, a bare knuckle drama, a Brit thriller, and a French thriller. Which is most worth your time and money? 

Let's do this. 

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Why I Love Film - #6 (in anticipation of Super 8)

In this series, I do my best to capture small moments, or performances, or little tech tricks I love about the world of film. With this episode, however, I'm feeling compelled to write about something a bit different.

The trailer for Super 8 hit theaters, interwebs, and TV sets not too long ago, and while the underground anticipation for the JJ Abrams film seems to have grinded to a halt, my anticipation has been exponentially growing. The Spielbergian feel to it, the music in the trailer, all the quick editing, the things that go bump in the night (the burned man in the car...)...

Of course, this is a Steven Spielberg production. It has that feel to it, if you've ever seen his more fantastical fare. I'm reminded of ET almost immediately, with bits of Hook and even some of the grandiosity of Jurassic Park. But, this is also distinctively a JJ Abrams film. I could consider it a love letter to one of the greatest directors of all time, but since we haven't been witness to the project yet, that would be a bit... too much.

For all of it's glory, however, here is the trailer for Super 8. Note the Spielberg qualities, note the music and how it forms itself in the trailer, the editing and wide cinematography... you'll know why I love film.

Hanna

Terminatrix.  

The most disappointing thing about Hanna is that the theater wasn't crowded. About less than half full, and everyone there loved it. Opening night, no less. Perhaps everyone went to go see Your Highness instead? Even so, the people who opted for Your Highness probably wouldn't make up the proper crowd for an art house thriller directed by the man behind Pride and Prejudice and Atonement. This is purely speculation, as all tastes are different. I'll certainly be seeing Your Highness at some point, but, I'm paid to. So, that point is probably moot, too. Regardless, the fact that the theater had elbow room, room for me to store my bag in another seat, and only a total of probably forty or so people... it's a bit depressing. 

More after the cut--

In Theaters This Weekend

Gorgeous.

Four movies, each with equally high anticipation on my part. The Russell Brand remake of Arthur, Joe Wright's latest film Hanna, a soul searching film about a surfer called... Soul Surfer, and the latest from David Gordon Green called Your Highness. 

Note - my anticipation for Soul Surfer isn't anticipation in the strictest sense. I'm not looking forward to a good movie. I'm looking forward to a train wreck. And I'm going to bet money that I get one. Of course, not a train wreck like Red Riding Hood, but a bitter accident nonetheless. 

Which is more worth your time and money? Well, that's why I do this. Onward ho. 

More after the cut--

Hop

"I'll take a Geoffrey, please"

For those who know me, it's no secret that I usually find movies like this a bit deplorable. There's just something about the live-action/animation hybrid that I can't ever get behind. Be it Yogi Bear, or the Scooby Doos, or the Alvin and the Chipmunks' films, I'm always reminded of the glory days where Roger Rabbit was king. But, a lesson I learned from reading Roger Ebert prevails in these situations - you judge the movie for what it is and if it achieves what it set out to. Hop is a film that does just that - it's sweeter than candy, it's a kid's movie through and through, but it has enough in it for adults to enjoy. And the most enjoyable thing about the movie? The comedy isn't once forced. Yes, there are pop culture references every now and then, but it's all derived from the situation. And situational comedy is always the best option. 

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Red Riding Hood

Bella and Edward look on...

I grew up wanting this film. Not this film, strictly speaking, but what this film could have been. I've often said that the most important part of film criticism is to not judge what could have been, but what is, and simply that. I know that I was a fan of the fairy tale from a young age, even to this day. And I know that the film I always wanted to see what more The Ghost and the Darkness (a truly terrific and terrifying film) and less Twilight (which I enjoy, for what it's worth). But, what we got was Twilight and not The Ghost and the Darkness. 

What sets them apart is this - Red Riding Hood could have been a film about a wolf hunt, about the strength of family, and a feminist's wet dream. Red Riding Hood wound up being a film about a teenage love story between an outsider and the pretty girl, and a whodunit about a werewolf. Careful distinction - Little Red Riding Hood is almost exactly like the former, and Catherine Hardwicke's version is exactly like the latter. Remember that Catherine Hardwicke gave us the first Twilight. She almost ruined that, and she did ruin this. Beyond repair. 

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Little Fockers, Tron: Legacy, and Others on DVD This Week

Looking at their 9% rating on Rotten Tomatoes... 

On DVD this week, an almost unanimous group of disappointing films. Little Fockers, Tron: Legacy, Casino Jack, and I Love You, Phillip Morris. Each film manages to destroy the hype that surrounded them for months, and leave very little for the viewer to walk out of the theater and praise. Of course, Tron: Legacy is almost immune to any sort of criticism being that it's strictly a film for the fan of the original (which is a masterpiece). But, being that Legacy is also a film that can be seen without seeing the original, that sort of evens the playing field. 

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Limitless

Apparently NZT does nothing for posture...

Limitless is limited. But, it proposes something interesting. Granted, it's proposal is one we've heard dozens of times, a couple of which were to chilling effect (echoes of Flowers for Algernon are plenty), but that doesn't mean it isn't a fun story. The man with nothing suddenly becomes the man with everything. Eddie Morra, played with Bradley Cooper, is given a wonder drug that allows him to use all of his brain, rather than just twenty percent. 

Side effects may include nausea, blackouts, migraines, and Robert De Niro's performance.

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Source Code

FIVE HUNDRED DOLLA.

It has Terry Gilliam's fingerprints all over it. That of Twelve Monkeys. But, here, the closest we get to Brad Pitt's rambling genius is Michelle Monaghan in an adorable outfit. Better, though, is the lead performance of Jake Gyllenhaal, who has grown to have an incredibly commanding screen presence. From back in the days of Donnie Darko up until now, he's steadily been growing on me as an actor. Then, when Brokeback Mountain came around, it all just clicked and I became one of those "insta-fans" never looking back. Donnie Darko still sucks, but at least the guy is watchable now.

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In Theaters This Weekend

Slow dancing in a burning room.

Stumbling their way into the box office this weekend are three major releases. Source Code - a Jake Gyllenhaal time bending thriller, Hop - a live action/CG hybrid about the Easter Bunny's slacker son, and Insidious - a good ol' haunted house movie from one of the original Saw directors. 

Which will be more worth our time and money? I'm willing to bet all three have what it takes to entertain, and I'm willing to bet even more that Insidious will be much better than I'm anticipating. But, I'll be seeing Source Code without fail. 

Let's take a closer look at the three, shall we?

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Sucker Punch

Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused.

The thing that makes Zack Snyder such an important director in this day of modern cinema is his fearlessness. Obviously, there are hundreds of fearless directors out there right now. Recently, a film about a psychotic tire was released onto the public. Yes, a tire. Firestone, most likely. But Snyder's fearlessness is a bit different - he can make the films he wants to make, do them how he thinks they should be done, and do so without ever alienating his audience. He's brash, he's all up in your comfort zone, and he takes charges that make me think every time I watch one of his films. 

Except for Legends of the Guardian. But, we don't talk about Legends of the Guardian. 

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Black Swan, Tangled, and Others on DVD This Week

One Grecian urn! Two Grecian urns!

Dancing out onto DVD shelves yesterday, six major releases from last year. Black Swan, Tangled, Made in Dagenham, All Good Things, Fair Game, and Mesrine: Public Enemy #1. 

Let's take a brief look at each, and determine which is most worth your money! 

I'll tell you right now, though - it's Black Swan. 

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In Theaters This Weekend

This... this rocks my socks.

Five years ago, Zack Snyder exploded with 300. But, before that, he gave us a chilling vision of an undead invasion with the remake of Dawn of the Dead. To date, Dead remains his best, brightest, and most important film. In a career full of masterpieces, with the grave exception of Legends of the Guardian, he's cemented his place as one of the most visually apt directors around. And with Sucker Punch, debuting to immense hype this weekend, he's set to only further that cement. 

Greeting Sucker Punch in theaters half way is Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Roderick Rules. 

But no one cares about that one.

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Battle: Los Angeles

Flight of the Valkyries wants its iconic images back.

I'm a film nerd from way back. I've been posting on IMDb's Oscar Buzz forum since 2004, and because of that, I've come to do an annual awards show every year, early on, at some point after the Oscars. (note - 2010's show is up and coming) In those awards, I have a category designated for the worst films of the year. I called it "The Flaming Bag of Sh*t". I thought it couldn't get any worse than Sanctum so early in the season, but... well, it did. And just as I have a couple of Best Picture contenders in The Company Men and The Adjustment Bureau, I have a flaming bag of sh*t in Battle: Los Angeles - certainly the loudest movie of the year so far, and no doubt quite possibly the worst of its kind. 

I sat closer to the edge of my seat during Martian Child. 

More after the cut --

The Tourist, Skyline, and Others on DVD This Week

Man, oh *beep* man. These are the weeks I dread - the weeks when everything popping out onto DVD shelves is crap. We have, unfortunately, received The Tourist, Skyline, Yogi Bear, and How Do You Know? as our choices for the next few days. At least until Sucker Punch comes out on Friday. Then everything is forgiven. But, for now, as always, let's take a look at each of these releases and see which will be worth the money you're forking over for them.

Personally, having seen them, I'll let you in on this early on - each of these is going to get a negative write-up. Forgive me if I go overboard, but... I swear, I really hated The Tourist. I'll post a review up of that soon. I have to edit it down from the four-letter word riffing session that I did for an IMDb message board. I want something a bit classier for this site, and others.

*sigh*

More after the cut--

The Adjustment Bureau

John Slattery smells Matt Damon's fear. 

Perhaps the most impressive thing about The Adjustment Bureau is that it marks the beginning of George Nolfi's feature film career. A hopefully long and fulfilling one. And if his later films prove to be anywhere near as affirming and thoughtful as this one, we're all in for one treat after another. Internally, however, the most impressive thing about this film is how few special effects are needed to make this thriller effective. Inception, while a brilliant and beautiful film, is riddled with computer generated imagery. As is The Matrix, just as brilliant and beautiful. What makes this film brilliant and beautiful, on the same level as the aforementioned ones, is that its thrills come from within. There are heavy religious overtones, there are believable relationships amongst the characters, and the most carefully realized hypothesis the film makes isn't whether or not we live in a computer program, or whether or not we can infiltrate dreams to commit crimes, but whether or not we can control our destiny. And whether or not we're wearing the proper hat to do so.

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In Theaters Over the Weekend, and a Blind Buy Conversation

Sorry for the late posting on this. I'm working on a way to schedule my time a bit better so I can get things up when I want them/need them to be up.


But, for the time being - I had an interesting conversation at a Walgreen's with a man who, by his own admission, rarely buys DVDs that he's seen before. He's an avid blind buyer, and he only does it four or five bucks at a time. I, too, blind buy with a vengeance, but I also collect. So, if I know something is worth more than it's selling for, I'll pick it up. And I'm constantly trolling eBay for the same deals. There, though, at a Walgreen's, the selection isn't as extensive as say... eBay. Or even Craigslist. It usually winds up being ten or twelve movies, and then about five or six rows of those ten or twelve movies. It's aggravating, but... I mean, I found a copy of Julien Donkey-Boy for six bucks. I think I win. I'm not sure, but I think I do. The other man walked away with a couple of direct to DVD pieces, sure to enjoy his night and revel in the savings.

Bee Season's cinematographer wants his settlement, please.

Given the quality of releases we were given over the weekend, it's no surprise that this man opted to rifle through the DVD shelves of local mini-marts rather than take the walk of shame and publicly admit to seeing something like Just Go With It. Which, for some reason, too many people have just gone with.

Over the weekend - Limitless, a thriller born from Phenomenon about a man who reaches his full potential, Paul, a comedy with Seth Rogen as an alien with a foul mouth and a really big heart, and The Lincoln Lawyer, Matthew McConaughey's latest (and second) legal thriller. Which did you see? Which will I see? I'll be seeing Limitless and The Lincoln Lawyer for sure. Already saw Paul.

For a full review of Paul, click here.

Let's take a close look at the L squared releases, shall we?

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Drive Angry 3D

Get some. 

I know it's not the most popular opinion out in the world of film right now, but Drive Angry is a work of art. Pure pulp, 70's style exploitative Grindhouse art. In fact, the only thing that could make this film more born of the 70's midnight movies is if Nicolas Cage were played by a Van Peeble and had the word "sucka" in his catch phrase. But, as it stands in 2011, simply being named Milton and having the balls to literally drive out of hell with stolen goods is enough. Milton is a violent criminal serving time in Hell for his bad, bad deeds. He witness his daughter get raped and murdered on Earth, and sees his baby granddaughter get stolen for a ritual sacrifice by the people who murdered his little girl. Naturally, like a bat out of... he takes the fastest car he can, steals the most powerful gun known to any world, and takes the trash out. 

Let me reiterate this - a man escapes from Hell, hunting a satanic cult who is about to sacrifice his granddaughter, and to top it off? He himself is being hunted by Satan's right hand man, known only as The Accountant. And he picks up a hot blonde hitchhiker. And - though this may be a spoiler alert - he has a gunfight with about ten people, while having sex. If this movie got any cooler, my face would have fallen off.

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Paul

Eat your heart out, Roger. 

Paul is the simple story of an alien with an attitude, and a heart of gold. In fact, the entire point film is so sweet, that it seems almost impossible to believe that most of the film is crude, and partly cruel. Unlike Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, which were helmed by Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost have brought us an eager "who said it" film filmed with countless references and... political poignancy. All this, from Superbad and Adventureland director Greg Mottola. Mottola's filmography is small, but consistent - he's a comedian's director with a lot of his own to say. That's a form of direction I've always appreciated; the ability to let others shine while imbuing your own specific messages into the forefront. But, here, Paul has mismatched its intent with its delivery. And that, in retrospect, hinders a positive reminder of the film. 

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Hereafter, and Others on DVD This Week

Weeks like this, for DVD releases, fascinate me. Three DVDs that match the spectrum of viewership - excellent, middling, and awful. The Fighter, Hereafter, and The Switch. The real question, however, is which is worth the twenty you'll have to shell out to pick one up. Or... the four or five you'll have to toss down to rent one from Blockbuster. Or get for free from Netflix. Or a buck at RedBox.  That in mind, the more important question, which is worth the time?

So, time and money in mind, let's take a look at each release.





In this corner, we have David O Russell's boxing autobiography The Fighter. I remember when the trailer hit the web, and people were immediately divided between love and hate for what Christian Bale's performance promised to be. It was an exercise in pure method gain (and weight loss?). Personally, and the Academy agreed, I found it to be intoxicating and brutal, with moments of hilarity that the actor hasn't had a chance to stretch in years. The performance is legend, and for my money, with the price of admission and certainly worth the time. For a full review, click here.

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In Theaters This Weekend

Back in full swing. Finger is healed. All is right with the world. Except, of course, that Catherine Hardwicke has released another film.

The week we've experienced has been met with tragedy, and a sense of hopefulness the world over. The earthquake and subsequent tsunami in Japan has left families across the globe fearful and worried for those they can't contact, and it's important for all of us to realize the fragility of human life. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, them, and theirs.

In San Francisco, local news kept saying, and I mean kept saying that "this isn't like the movies". Personally, I'm a bit offended by those remarks. As someone whose life is completely inundated with film and effects and stories of tragedy brought to us by the silver screen, I find it redundant and psychologically fanatical to remind your viewers that they are watching something real. I hope, and fully believe, that we as a people have the intelligence to distinguish a film like 2012 from a real life disaster that claimed real lives. In all fairness, this reporter wasn't speaking to me personally, but to me as a collective viewer. A child might not understand the difference. But, a 24 year old with a high school diploma who works in the real world and who is effected by the real world everyday certainly would. Any of us over the age of ten presumably would. Obviously, I don't expect any sort of apology, but I do expect more care and candor from any sort of news team. Less callousness and condescension, in effect.

That's all I have to say about that.

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Inside Job, Jackass 3D, and Others on DVD this week

Apologies for the late posting. Life has been hectic, and my finger is still... incapacitated. But, such is blogging, no?

On DVD this week, five films are being released. A few promising films that turned flop, and a couple of surprises that wound up highlighting the year all the way from left field. Morning Glory, Jackass 3D, Four Lions, Inside Job, and The Next Three Days. The most important thing, however, is which one is worth your money! Let's take a closer look, yeah?

I'd like to start with one of the biggest surprises of last year, for me - Jackass. Admittedly, I'm a fairly big Johnny Knoxville fan. His screen presence is huge, and he's a decently talented actor. I find him compulsively watchable. Even if he's electrocuting his friends, or getting hit in the balls, or vomiting, or getting hit in the balls, or getting hit in the balls. He's just... fun to watch. So, as a fan of the show, and of the last couple of films, I was surprised even at myself at how much I enjoyed this outing of violent and stupid behavior - please note, I'm not one of those guys who tried to perform these stunts when growing up (except for the grocery store jousting. I did that one.) But, I enjoyed it from this perspective: it wasn't made to please anyone but the people involved, and eventually, it became what will surely be a staple in the 3D discussion. Live action 3D is something that isn't used fairly well. And without the over-abundance of computer effects, the 3D in this film is... mind-blowingly impressive. I'll be around for the fourth one. If indeed there is a fourth one.



The special features are as follows, from the film's Amazon page -

MTV Making Of Special
Outtakes
Deleted Scenes
Time Magazine Trailer


The film is on all DVD formats (as well as Blu-Ray), and maintains its 3D structure. So, you went to see a 3D film, you will be buying a 3D film. 


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The Early Days of Taylor Lautner

The pug-faced wonder boy known by teen girls all around the world, and their moms (of course) as Jacob. A Native American Werewolf in Washington. But, before he went to the Matthew McConaughey's Shirt Rehab, he was a music video enthusiast. And not too long ago, either -

That's him. If you read the description of the video, he made this with his high school ex-sweetheart for a class project. Not only does this speak volumes about Lautner, but also for our public education system. 

Why I Love Film - #5

There seems to be a pattern with this series in that every other one is n(ot) s(afe) f(or) w(ork). So in keeping with that coincidental pattern, this one is pretty family friendly. Enjoy with the kids.

It would make sense to assume that a film's advertising has a lot to do with the anticipation of said film. That's just logic. So, it would make sense to also assume that there are certain advertising ventures that have stayed with filmgoer's over the years. Some are tacky, sure - like United 93's senselessly tacky For Your Consideration ad -

sure.

Great film, but not exactly something I, or anyone I know, would consider relevant past 2006. One of two September 11th movies that came out that year (the other being Oliver Stone's surprisingly calm World Trade Center) but this film got all the attention. It's more focused than Stone's, but both are about specific events from that terrible day. Not just that day. Yes, a film can matter. But, a film that matters doesn't presume its importance and just unfolds over time. This came, missed a Best Picture nomination, and went. 

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In Theaters This Weekend

You'll have to forgive the semi-late posting of this, but I'm dealing with a ripped open fingertip while typing this. Note that the wound is covered and I'm not bleeding all over my precious laptop. But, since all is held together by glue (quite literally), we can bask in the glory of the films opening this weekend - Rango - the Johnny Depp animated flick from Gore Verbinski, The Adjustment Bureau - a Matt Damon thriller, Beastly - Alex Pettyfer and Vanessa Hudgens' take on Beauty and the Beast... with Mary-Kate Olsen, and Take Me Home Tonight - Topher Grace's trip back to '88.

This makes me laugh. So hard. 

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God Save the King, Book IV

In conclusion of this series, taking a look back at the contributions that Stephen King has made to the world of cinema, in four parts, from Carrie on down, in anticipation of The Stand being adapted for a feature film... we're at the end. We've covered the good, the bad, and the wtf, and that's just the feature films. We're on to his mini-series, in part four.

"Be gentle."

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The President's Speech - Starring Mike Tyson

And George W. Bush.

I guess that after re-editing The King's Speech for a PG-13 rating... this was the next logical step.

All thanks be to Jimmy Kimmel for that. 

127 Hours, Love and Other Drugs, and Others on DVD This Week

Let the Oscar films begin to roll out! They might have lacked serious chemistry hosting the Oscars together, but James Franco and Anne Hathaway each offer one of their best performances separately onto DVD shelves today. Also, Christina Aguilera and Cher in Burlesque and Dwayne Johnson in Faster. I've seen the first two, but haven't gotten around to the last two yet. But, honestly, my hopes aren't high.


127 Hours wasn't an Oscar winner, but it should have been. Franco gives the performance of his career, and one of the best I've seen in years, as Aron Ralston - the modern adventurer who gets his arm caught underneath a boulder during a canyon exploration. His performance puts us right underneath that boulder with him, but Danny Boyle's loving direction lets us feel as the raven that passes overhead of Ralston every morning. It's a touching, inspirational, and divinely made film. For the full review, click here.

Danny Boyle brings his Slumdog Millionaire team back to the table, with a beautiful musical score by A R Rahman, a delicate and tense screenplay by Simon Beaufoy, and meticulous editing from Jon Harris.

The balance and urgency of that balance between living and dying have rarely felt more tangible in any film that I've seen - and I'm still amazed by how fluid and affable Boyle got the film to feel. It's about a man stuck under a rock, and it's one of the most free movie-going experiences of last year.

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Rest In Peace, Jane Russell and Gary Winick

Very sad news today as screen siren Jane Russell and indie-god Gary Winick have passed away. 

Let's look back at their illustrious careers. 

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The 83rd Annual Academy Awards

Anne Hathaway: 1. James Franco: 0.

Or, as it will come to be called, The Kirk Douglas Variety Special. 

For full nominees and winners, click here.


And special thanks to Amanda from America's Next Top Model Addiction for all her help in creating this post!

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