On DVD Today

A new breed of action zero

This will be a uniquely short article, as the two major releases on DVD aren't of any specific consequence. I Am Number Four (remember that bright yellow poster on all the buses and port-a-potties? the one with the Android QR?) and Gnomeo and Juliet come out to own on Blu-ray or DVD today. Which is more worth it?

Well, I haven't seen I Am Number Four, yet. And I probably won't for a while. There will be a review, for those of you who are aching for one for some reason, but not today. And probably not tomorrow. But, soon, and for the rest of our lives.

Gnomeo and Juliet, however, I have suffered through. Let's take a closer look at each DVD release, though, and you can decide for yourself which you might prefer.


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Your Highness

Academy Award winner Natalie Portman

What happened to David Gordon Green? I remember seeing George Washington years ago on IFC and having my mind blown by him. Then, I got to see All the Real Girls shortly after his release and I thought to myself "This man is a genius.". After Undertow and Snow Angels, I could safely say that he was one of my favorite directors. Admittedly, I didn't care for Snow Angels, but it has grown on me overtime. 

Then we get Pineapple Express. And while it doesn't fit in with the rest of his filmography, it's a solid film toting subtle homages to films Green loved growing up, and even he has said it's a film he wanted to get out of his system. But, with Your Highness? This... this is a strange inclusion to an otherwise flawless canon. I feel like he's lost himself, or fallen in with the wrong crowd. 

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Starter for 10

Requiem for a Braniac

The oddest thing about a film like Starter for 10 is that it seems to be almost completely pointless until the last thirty minutes or so. And the most unfortunate thing about the project is that the first hour is almost completely alienating. This isn't the type of film where the audience is required to root for anyone in particular, nor are we given much of a climax to look forward to. We follow a young college student in England in 1985 as he enters Bristol University and attempts to find a place and enter a quiz show club, one who does their best to win championships on television. We follow him through bum friends, a failed and unrealistic attempt at a relationship, and a conventional attempt at knowing everything. 

The good news is, James McAvoy is watchable enough to excuse most of that. 

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In Honor Of - Rebecca Hall

Starting this month, with the week or so left, I'm honoring a new face every month. With the use of IMDb's "Random Name", it'll be a new director/actor/actress/writer/whatever. It's a way to pay homage to some of the people who might not get enough credit, a way to build a bigger backlog of older reviews on this site, and to point the filmgoer's who follow this blog in the direction of movies they might not be familiar with otherwise. 

With this late entry, I'm lucky that Rebecca Hall doesn't have too big a filmography yet. Only about ten or so theatrical releases under her belt. 

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Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Rob Marshall brings a little "Penzance" to "Pirates"

In what could typically be called "Captain Jack and the Last Crusade", we say goodbye to Will and Elizabeth Turner and hello to a more expensive look, drearier set pieces, and a more puzzling plot line. But, one benefit of the Pirates films is that no matter how twisted the story may be, and no matter how questionable things may get, everything seems to fall into place. The franchise has always had a firm rooting in faith and spirituality, and things seemingly happening for a reason, which the hint of a moral compass always guiding the way, so... in that aspect, the film gives itself room to take outlandish turns, so lang as everything fits. On Stranger Tides is certainly no exception to this rule, but At World's End had that market cornered. 

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The Roommate and Others on DVD This Week

Literally, this is as exciting as it gets.

Coming to DVD this week, we have The Roommate, an abysmal rip off of Single White Female; The Mechanic, an excellent remake of a Charles Bronson movie; and The Rite, a surprisingly effective exorcism-chiller from the director of 1408. Which is more worth your money, though? 

Well, I'm going out on a limb and saying that it'll be The Mechanic. Why? We'll get into each release after the jump. Starting with The Roommate.

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Friday the 13th (1980)

Precisely why you don't swim right after eating.

Alfred Hitchcock created the genre. The “Slasher” picture. It was 1960, and the film was Psycho. If we wanted to stretch that fact, we can claim that the original ‘slasher’ film was a small, yet admittedly scary, film called Peeping Tom. It was released only a few months before Psycho, but didn’t have nearly the same impact on audiences. Or critics. Psycho soared to the top, and Peeping Tom was left to be later rediscovered and revered. Hitchcock, without intention, birthed a new era of horror film that wouldn’t come to into its prime until 1973 with the release of Black Christmas.

Black Christmas redefined what Hitchcock had started, and set the rules in stone - a mentally unhinged masked killer stalks attractive teens and picks them off, one by one, in creative ways. After Black Christmas, then came Halloween which cemented the popularity of the genre. After Halloween was a critical and financial success, studios ran with the idea that they could make money selling “dead teenager movies” (a term coined by Roger Ebert) to live teenagers. They were right, and in 1980, the first studio-backed ‘slasher’ film was released. It was May 9th, and it was Friday the 13th.

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In Theaters This Weekend

... I can't.

What happened to Paul Bettany? I'm going to go ahead and blame it on Wimbledon. Let's look - Dogville, Master and Commander, A Knight's Tale, A Beautiful Mind... all Oscar worthy performances. He was shaping up to be the actor of his generation, but then came Wimbledon and the land of guaranteed audiences. Wimbledon, Firewall, Legion, and now Priest? Creation, and his astonishing portrayal of Charles Darwin, is the late exception. 

With Priest and Bridesmaids (consider it an... estrogen-fueled The Hangover) opening this weekend, can you guess what I'm going to recommend? Let's take a brief look at both after the jump. 

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Fast Five

"This isn't a damn skate board, Brian!"

I remember seeing The Fast and The Furious at a party when it came out on DVD, and I thought to myself “If they make this a franchise, there’s a hell of a lot of money to be made”. And, with the exception of 2 Fast 2 Furious, the series has held up to my expectations. Granted, I wasn’t ever expecting anything high caliber, just a fun action film about cool cars, cops, and criminals. That’s what I’ve gotten every time. Except, when I saw the fourth entry in the series, I got something different - a soundly made film with a good story and solid performances. Fast and Furious marked the series moving on up from just action fodder to a legitimate franchise, and Fast Five takes it and runs. Or, drives, rather.

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In Theaters This Weekend

"I come off like a viking, right?"

Coming to theaters tomorrow - Thor, Something Borrowed, and Jumping the Broom. Two romantic comedies and a superhero flick destined to take the box office by storm. Fast Five has been holding onto the top spot since its release, driving April into record breaking box office numbers, and becoming the no1 movie worldwide. Can Thor trump it? By the hammer of Asgard, I'd bet so.

Surely we've all heard of Thor by now, but if you're not familiar with Something Borrowed or Jumping the Broom, we'll take a closer look at all three after the jump. 

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Thor

He's a god-out-of-water

Marvel movies know what they’re doing. Clear action, sharp performances, and intelligent screenplays. Of course, the studio is allowed their mistakes after so many successes (here’s lookin’ at you, Iron Man 2), but more often than not, Marvel nails it. Especially in their set-up for the long awaited Avengers film. We’ve had Iron Man and Black Widow, The Incredible Hulk, we’re getting Captain America, and now we have Thor - the god of thunder. Not just thunder, but lightening and fertility and strength (thanks, Wiki). And if anyone can embody fertility, strength, and inclement weather, it’s Chris Hemsworth. Tall, blond, beefy - he has to be the ideal casting. And in a film racked with political intrigue, light hearted hysteria, and Shakespearean grandeur, Kenneth Branagh has to be the ideal director. 

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The Green Hornet, The Dilemma, and Others on DVD This Week

Shown running from the critics

Yesterday, four major DVD releases found their way onto shelves - The Green Hornet, The Dilemma, A Somewhat Gentle Man, and From Prada to Nada. Now... generally, I try to recommend a viewing for the week, based on the releases. But, this is a total grab bag here. I can recommend The Dilemma, but it won't be something everyone will enjoy (as reviews and box office returns proved); I can recommend A Somewhat Gentle Man, but that's purely based on a general perception of the film - I haven't seen it yet (I'm a terrible critic, I know). I've managed to avoid From Prada to Nada, though it's something I'll have to endure by the end of the year, regardless. And The Green Hornet is... a waste of time. 

So, yeah - there you have it. However, let's look at each release closer, just to see what might be worth your hard earned money, and valuable time. 

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The Dilemma

"Seriously? You bagged Winona Ryder?"

Ironically enough, The Dilemma has a few problems of its own. It’s interesting to see Ron Howard take another stab at comedy after laying Arrested Development to rest, but it doesn’t gel the way it should have. Many comedies make their name by taking a moral question and either grounding it in darkly funny reality or making it so absurd that it becomes impossible to question. In fact, some directors have made a career out of doing just that. Mike Binder, Woody Allen, Judd Apatow, the list continues. Where Ron Howard finds trouble here, to be fair, is the script. It’s penned by Allan Loeb, who spewed out Wall Street:Money Never Sleeps and The Switch (that movie about Jennifer Aniston, a turkey baster, and an awkward conversation waiting to happen). The Dilemma is two movies at once - a dark comedy about a man who finds out his best friend’s wife is cheating on him, and a relationship drama about the same thing. The real dilemma is that it can’t find that comfortable middle ground. Same problem that Wall Street 2 had, same problem The Switch had. Must be a Loeb thing.

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Gnomeo and Juliet

Travelocity's gonna sue somebody

In what might become an anthem for the Gnome Liberation Front, Gnomeo and Juliet (very loosely) retells the story of William Shakespeare's famed tragedy of nearly the same name. But, after all, a movie about doomed garden gnome love by any other name is still as dreadful. Oddly enough, a pastiche of Shakespeare puns and gardening jokes took nine writers to fully realize. That might be the funniest thing about the film - Andy Riley, Kevin Cecil, Mark Burton, Emily Cook, Kathy Greenberg, Steve Hamilton Shaw, Kelly Asbury, Rob Sprackling, and John R. Smith. Between them, be it final touch-ups or penning the original stories and script drafts or tossing in jokes here and there, they pulled off true movie magic - a film that feels like it has no screenplay at all, written by a small committee. 

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In Theaters This Weekend

"Get some"

In theaters this weekend, we have another oddball mix. We're getting to that point of the year where, on the weekends, seemingly something for everyone will be released. For the action lovers, Fast Five comes out; for kids, there's the sequel to Hoodwinked; for older kids, Disney is releasing a film about prom called... Prom; and for the rest of us, there's Dylan Dog: Dead of Night. Which is more worth it? Which will be the safest way to spend your money?

Well, my answer is to see all of them. Even the ones that look terrible. But, that's my advice for anything in general. If you don't know what's bad, how can you really know what's good?

Let's take a closer look at each. 

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Why I Love Film - #7 (nsfw)

Sid and Nancy they ain't

There's a special brand (!) of genius behind Russell Brand and Rose Byrne's creations of rockstars Aldous Snow and Jackie Q. We were introduced to Aldous, a once famously sober rockstar, in Forgetting Sarah Marshall (when he used to have sex with Sarah Marshall) and were introduced to Jackie Q in Get Him to the Greek. The foul hilarity that spews forth from their mouths around each other kind of belie the talents they have as actors, but only on the surface. Once you can get past what they're saying, and you can pay attention to how they're saying it, the characters are two of the smartest things to come to film in the last few years. And definite career makers of performances. 

And something like this could only be captured on the big screen. The performances, and characters, are too big for anywhere else. 

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The Green Hornet

"That's right. I'll be playing a superhero. Don't look so confused."

It takes a certain kind of film to make me question the state of a genre. Certain horror movies make question the audiences that attend them, and certain movies that go on to win Oscars make me question the voters. But, not since 1990's Captain America (a horrid movie starring Matt Salinger as the first Avenger) have I sat down and thought about the state of a genre. I remember seeing that and being thankful that even after such a gigantic misfire we're still allowed Batman movies and Spiderman movies and even another Captain America film (which appears to be infinitely better). The Green Hornet, you should know, is one of those certain films - I've seen it twice now and both times I've thought to myself "is this the state of the superhero film? This is what we've come to?" 

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3 Idiots, Jolene, and Others on DVD This Week

3 Idiots Knuckle Up

This is an odd week for DVD releases... usually, lately, we've had three or four recognizable films that have either won awards, or critical praise, or have been revered in their own way for being terrible so we can lament the fact that they're now available in yet another format. This week, of course to break the trend we're so used to, are three releases I can safely say I've never heard of. But, in all fairness, I'm looking forward to them. Some what. A Bollywood-ish farce called 3 Idiots, a walk across the country with an orphaned girl Jolene, and a walk from one end of the room to the other in Bunny and the Bull. 

Which is more worth your time and money, however? Probably all of them. But, I'm guessing that Bunny and the Bull might be the best bet. 

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In the Name of Jesus

Give him his fucking eggs back!

Every Easter, much like every other holiday, there are certain movies that just complete the proceedings. Scary movies complete Halloween, and there are countless Christmas movies to watch every year, but what about days like today? Well, I've compiled a list of the five best people to play Jesus - from Jim Caviezel to Ted Neeley. Let's do it. 

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The Lincoln Lawyer

"Is anyone else following this ending? I mean..."

Consider it a John Grisham novel on steroids. Matthew McConaughey is adept at playing lawyers with an evident moral compass that they just choose to ignore. I remember the first time I saw A Time to Kill on television, and I was mostly just interested in seeing Sandra Bullock in something that wasn't a frothy romantic comedy. But, I left the film impressed mostly by McConaughey and his bittersweet performance. Fifteen years later, I'm reminded of why I like him as an actor in the first place. It's not easy to get behind him when he comes out with films like Surfer, Dude or Fool's Gold or Failure to Launch, but in films like Contact or Tropic Thunder, or The Lincoln Lawyer, his considerable skill is put to unreasonable use. He is an actor, first and foremost. Especially when he keeps his shirt on. 

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